Singapore Adventure – Crazy Exciting Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions Haunt Me.

Packing for my October 2022 Singapore adventure. Negative emotions haunt me, ghosts of my preparations, almost 20 years back, for one of the other great adventures in my life.

I had enlisted in the Australian Army at age 38. Why do something stupid like that?

I had wanted to enlist in 1979, Australia had only just extricated itself from the bloody war in Vietnam, my Country was giving shelter to refugees: War was fresh in our minds. My mother had endured my father’s 30-year military service, which had caused her great stress. She was also devoutly Catholic, and South Vietnam, a predominant Catholic country had just fallen to the ravages of communism, which added to her emotional stress. I did not want to break my mother’s heart by continuing the family military tradition, so, I became an Architect. But that urge and drive never left me. 2003, age 41, enlisted 3 years in, serving as an infantry soldier part time and volunteering for short term continuous full-time service: The Aussie Army was busy: Iraq, Timor-Leste – such things meant soldiering work for even middle age-old people.

It had been a long 3 years, undertaking study to achieve a commission from the Australian Royal Military Academy (Duntroon). Serious academic study are you serious! I am an Architect, it’s not that serious academically, I signed up to shoot and blow stuff up! Ok, I get paid to fire thousands of rounds through machine guns, sweet as Bro: What? You’re now telling me I have to hit a moving target at 300 metres, with just one shot! Sorry, Sarge can I ask, why you gave me an automatic weapon if I am only allowed one single shot? Ok, I will shut the F*ck up, and no I don’t want another arse hole, but I can’t even see that far! And, if I don’t qualify on that ridiculous task, twice a year I’m out!

Military Memories.

Oh yeah, long weekends, long weeknights, and regular trips away out to a month, but nothing like the last adventure. What was I thinking? Enlisted at age 38! Fat, heavy drinking, chain smoking over working Architect, then divorce. 20 years older than my Duntroon class mates. Dislocated shoulder from a horse-riding accident, lost me a year. First year was tough, how does one turn around a neglected body: Running, lifting, boxing, cold turkey on the smokes: And just digging deep most of the time. So,

Age 41, off on a two-month adventure, my last combat course: Hopefully, the Queen, would see fit to offer me the Commission I had wanted at age 17. How did I feel?

Nervous: What am I doing? Why? This is going to be a shear nightmare! Apprehension. Going to miss my family. Fear, yes! Little sleep, disgusting food and let us not think about the academic stuff. Face it, you are no ‘Rocket Scientist’ nor the sharpest tool in the shed! Ironically,

Welcome to the ruling Class.

I actually had a mate at Duntroon, who was doing his PHD in Rocket Science! See, I was a working-class boy from a working-class town, educated at a working-class Catholic School, I did not even go to University, I completed my architectural degree part time at a technical college in the evenings. My peers at Duntroon, many of them: Well, let me just say for the first time I met the ruling class. Sons and daughters of Generals, Senior Officers, Politicians and Corporate Titans, realization that indeed some people start life with one foot up the Journey of Life ladder. An awful lot of fire power to open doors for you. However,

Egalitarian Australia saves me.

Fortunately, Australia still holds onto to its desire for egalitarianism, embraces meritocracy. There were just as many from the back blocks, and every race, colour, and creed: It really represented contemporary Australia. Generally – Merit, drive, and determination had been their entry ticket.

So, yes 20 years previously I was far from excited – Negative emotional overload, definitely!

What else am I pondering?

Travelling companions.

Well, looking at my old once best companion: My standard Aussie Army Backpack and Combat Webbing. Like a shell to a tortoise, it had been my bedroom, kitchen, pantry, wardrobe, protection, and shelter. Contrasted with my Singapore kit: I think what a load of crap! All soldiers will tell you, check your kit, remember your government had it made for the lowest possible tender price. Check, check and check again.

What of my new adventure to Singapore?

Excited cannot describe it! Every corner I turn will be new, fresh full of opportunity. At age 60 it is so important to avoid physical and mental staleness. The narrow mindedness of age and experience. Mark Twain, writing in 1880, captured my feelings:

So, what about my adventure of 20 years previous, what happened?

Smirking your way through life.

Well, I passed my course, never had to reset any academic subjects. The old corpse stood up pretty well, though I lost 8 kilograms. Posted out as a newly printed Troop Commander to First Field Artillery. I remember doing an awful lot of smirking, which is really my message to the world, that I don’t take either myself or it very seriously.

But I moved on again after several years. Life changes! Was all that work wasted? Not really. I spent another 14 odd years Project Managing Defence Construction Projects. I had the time of my life, complex, tough projects, long, mostly satisfying hours, collaborating with incredible people: None of that would have happened without doing something really stupid, like enlisting at 38! Certainly, none of that would have happened if I remained a fat, heavy drinking, chain smoking over working Architect.

Every Journey requires a forward step.

Sometime, life requires a step into fear and the unknown. Opportunity seldom comes to the sedentary man. Ernest Hemingway captures it for me:

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

Ernest Hemingway

What a journey Singapore will be!